I Swear!
by AmaranthineSomnium
Summary: Random blatherings. A conversation between QuiGon and ObiWan.


I Swear!

Authors note: You can also find this story under the pen name Miss-Jedi. She is the wonderful co-author of this story. This was just a very random conversation she and I had. Pardon the messiness. Much thanks Miss-Jedi!

Disclaimer: Note the fan in fan fiction. I own nothing.

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"Master?"

"Yes?"

"Do I snore?"

" Well…"

"Do I?"

"…Yes"

"Sithspit!"

"What?"

"Nothing Master…can I borrow a few credits?"

"Why?"

"No reason…I just need some."

"No ,really why?"

"Well…you see…Reeft says he doesn't snore and that I do. I bet him I don't and uh…."

"You were gambling?"

"Not _technically_, Master"

"I'm sorry padawan, but your going to have to deal with this on your own…How many credits did you bet?"

"Um…more than I personally own, Master."

"I gave you 10 yesterday."

"Yes well…um…I might have accidentally lost those, Master."

"What did you do?"

"Well, the thing was…"

**SIGH** "What?"

"Garen dared me to go buy this new holovid. But it was total junk! Just some person giving a lecture on how to make more credits. He told me it was action packed! Ugh."

"HOW many times do I have to tell you not to take foolish dares?"

"But Master, he said it was a good holovid! He lied."

"Maybe he has a different opinion of a 'good' holovid than you do."

"Naw, he was just trying to make a fool out of me. You should have seen some of the stares I got when I bought it. There was this pack of giggling Twi'lek females who kept whispering and I swear I heard the word "stupid" a few times."

"Well I think if they said stupid, they were right."

"Master!"

"Padawan!"

"Master!"

"Padawan!"

"What!"

"Why did you say master?"

"Because I was so shocked that you called me stupid! And here I thought you were proud of me!"

"I am, but what you did was very foolish, you should have sensed he was lying to you."

"Well excuse me, Master. I must not be as in tune with the Force as I thought. I am _stupid_ after all."

"Obi-Wan, stop being a pain in the—"

"Master!"

"Don't you 'Master!' me!"

"Yes, Master. What do I know, anyway? Excuse me for my pitiful attempt to stop you from swearing."

"Stop that Obi-Wan, really. Now what were we talking about? Oh yes… Why were you betting in the first place?"

**Cough** "No reason, Master."

"Obi-Wan, you really need to tell me."

"Yes, Master…so how was your day?"

"It was fine- don't get off the subject!"

"Sorry, Master. You know, this reminds me of the time—"

"Obi-Wan. You haven't formed betting habit have you?"

"No! Master, I _swear_ I haven't."

"You _swear_?"

"Yes, Master. I-I mean _no_, Master! I would never."

"Why do I not believe you?"

"I don't know. You have no reason to not believe me. Perhaps you're just being paranoid."

"Are you calling me paranoid?"

"…Possibly."

"Well Obi-Wan, I think I've learned one thing from this conversation, do you know what that is?"

"No Master, but I have this horrible feeling that you are going to tell me."

"I am going to tell you, I have learned that you need a nice long chat with the council."

**Blink** "Why's that?"

"You are very disrespectful, and you have a betting problem."

"No, Master! I really don't. Bant dared me to take the bet! And why would I have to talk to the council? Couldn't you just discipline me yourself?"

"That is my discipline, Obi-Wan, and you've made me think that you should stay away from your 'friends' for awhile too."

"That's not discipline, that's _torture_! And what's wrong with my friends? They're good, respectful, obedient, kind, compassionate Padawans." **Bats eyes**

"Obi-Wan, I would hardly call them good, respectful, obedient, kind, compassionate padawans. They bet with you, which would mark out good, and respectful, they made you buy a horrible holovid, which marks out kind, and compassionate, and…They're all disobedient!"

"What! That's sithspit Master. My friends are wonderful."

"Obi-Wan! If you say 'sithspit' one more time your getting refresher duty for a year!"

"But you just said it yourself! How is that fair! Force! This conversation keeps getting worse. Reeft's right. Jedi Master's have **BLEEP** sense of humor!"

"OBI-WAN KENOBI!"

"That's me, Master!"

"YOU are taking a nice long talk with YODA!"

"NOOOOOOOO! NO, Master, I BEG you! It was all a joke! Siri dared me to say all of that! I swear she did! I'll bet you anything she's laughing her head off right now!"

" Obi-WAN! You have…. I don't know how I can punish you for swearing, betting, and taking stupid dares!"

"Would you look at the time? I have a class in five minutes. I'll talk to you later, Master!"  
"Let's just say you'll be skipping all your classes today."

"B-but Master! I have important tests today. If I skip, I'll fall behind. If I fall behind I won't be able to go on any mission with you because I'll be working all day long. If I don't go with you on missions you will die. If you die I will be all alone and Masterless. If I'm all alone and Masterless I'll be sent to the Argi-Corps again. If I'm sent to the Argi-Coprs again my life will be totally useless (not that it wouldn't be if you died, Master). If my life is totally useless I'll-I'll _kill_ myself! So you see, Master, I _have_ to go to class today."

"Are you quite done blabbering on? Obi-Wan I'm sure 366 days of missing class wont hurt."

"366! Master! That's…that's…that's…so when do I start this vacation?"

"Sure it's a vacation…A vacation from **BLEEP**."

**Wide eyes** **blink, blink** **twitch, twitch** "I'll just be in my room, meditating on my actions…um…bye!"

**Laughs to himself** "Go ahead and meditate, after that you can start on ALL the refreshers in the Temple! And why stop there?"

**Pokes his head from around the door** "Did you say something oh, Supreme, wise, wonderful Master of mine?"

"Obi-Wan?"

"Yes Master, whom I respect and admire with all of my being. Is there something that my oh, so pathiticness can do to serve you in any way?"

"Shut up."

"Yes, Master."

"Come back here in an hour and all have you schedule for the next year."

**Sigh** "Yes, Master…"

THE END


End file.
